Namco X Capcom: The Parody
by GWT
Summary: When dimensions cross and collide, weird things happen. Shinra agent's Reiji and Xiamou know this for a fact. So what happens when they actually expirence it? Utter chaos...[On Pause]
1. Prologue: Alice in Wonderland

**Great Writer Trinku Presents**  
_**A writing of Epic proportions...  
**__**Two Enormous Companies collide in...  
**_**Namco **_**X **__**Capcom!

* * *

**_

"How was that?" Trinku grinned, watching the opening of his movie play in the darkened theatre. "I'm sure you all liked the way I introduced the movie, don-" 

"Shut up down there!" Came the shout from Ken Masters as popcorn rained on him. "We're trying to watch the movie!"

"Oww, hey, watch it!" Shouted Shion. "You're getting KOS-MOS dirty! That means I'll have to clean her...KEEP THROWING!"

"Keep your fantasies to yourself, Shion!" Came the aged shout from Heihachi Mishima. "I paid good money to rent out this theatre and I'll be _damned_ if we don't watch this movie!"

"Thank you, Heihachi." Trinku smiled.

"I said QUIET, DAMN IT!"**

* * *

**

**Prologue (1):  
_Alice in Wonderland_**

There has always been a talk, theories, of alternate dimensions.

Ever since man reached the stars, the thought of life off this planet has been a heated discussion. Soon, however, man began to think there was not life beyond this planet, the planet Earth. Instead, they began to believe there _might_ be alternate earths.

Multiple versions of this very planet we have lived on. It was until ten years ago when people capitalized on this theory. 10 years ago in Japan. Tokyo, Shibuya. There was a fight between organizations.

One of the organizations called "Yuragi" stumbled space distortion, trying to open a gate that connects to a strange world. On the other hand, the plan was intercepted by the other organization. One of the organizations opened this gate and soon, creatures from beyond this world were appearing in our world. Yuragi promptly disappeared...and another organization called "Shinra" took its place.

Here follows the tale of two from such an organization...

* * *

"I'm mad at the fact he made us sound like a mob..." Arisu Reiji munched his popcorn. 

"We'll have to shoot the director after this..." said Xiamou, who also munched on Reiji's popcorn.

* * *

_Future.  
__Inside the Cargo Passenger Ship "Elsa"_

On this ship, Elsa, was a small crew of passengers. Numerous men and women, who traveled through space, all armed and ready for combat. At the current time, there were little disturbances that the crew was used too, such as attacks from creatures known as Gnosis. But something had bothered all of them. One of their passengers, a blue haired female android known as KOS-MOS, was displaying unusual symptoms of something.

"Hmm..." a young woman, Shion Uzuki, stood over the blue-haired android, circling her twice. While this android was, in appearance, a few years older than her, the machine only watched with the curiosity of a cat as she stared. The girl tapped KOS-MOS on the knee, as well as on the forehead, awaiting some sort of response. Then, she sighed.

"KOS-MOS, status report?" Shion asked, seeing nothing wrong with this android's frame. She hoped KOS-MOS would be able to tell her. The android's eyes flashed once, then...

"Shion, no abnormality to the frame detected." KOS-MOS replied. The girl sighed. Tapping her forehead again, she pressed her ear to KOS-MOS' head, listening for something. KOS-MOS never changed her expression as the girl narrowed her eyes. Then-

"It seems...that recently there has been an increase in noise frequency in the temporal lobe." She stated, adjusting her glasses. However, KOS-MOS quickly opened her mouth to speak.

"No influence of self-autonomous behavior detected," she replied. Then, after a quick pause. "No errors detected."

"No errors detected...?" Shion asked. That wouldn't explain the androids behavior, though; recently she has been having mood swings, eating ice cream (something she shouldn't be doing), and crying uncontrollably (also something she shouldn't be doing, though Shion didn't complain). "Hmm...What could it be, then..."

"Chief!" A male voice behind her said. Turning around, a fellow crews mate named Allen greeted her. "I think it maybe that your doll, I mean, KOS-MOS is making too much power to keep in that body of hers. That, or android PMS."

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that."

"Right. Why don't we just transfer her to another body?"

"I can't do that _now_," Shion replied. "It would involve shutting her down for an extended period of time. And what if the Gnosis attack, huh? Then what?" She shouted at Allen, who quickly backed away from the glasses wearing girl. However, as he did, another 'person' entered the room. A small android in the form of a girl known as MOMO.

MOMO approached KOS-MOS, looking her over the same way Shion did. Both Shion and Allen watched as she peeked around KOS-MOS... Then clapped her hands together. "I propose a mind dive!" She grinned.

"...A mind dive...why didn't I think of that?" Shion smiled.

"Because you were about to attack me," Moaned Allen. "But, uh...what if it _isn't_ her power? What if it's a virus or something?"

"Don't be silly. KOS-MOS can't catch a virus! I outfitted her with Norton Antivirus version 3478.05, not to mention a special super duper firewall!" Shion smiled.

"But it COULD be a smart virus. And it might be waiting for a mind dive so it can take over MOMO. And then she might be acting the way KOS-MOS is acting, or worse!"

"Allen, be reasonable. Even if there _was_ a virus and even if it _did_ infect KOS-MOS, it would be harmless in this child," She smiled, patting MOMO on the head. "Besides. It couldn't affect us and if it did, I bet I could fix up MOMO-Chan."

However, MOMO was talking to KOS-MOS. "Um...KOS-MOS...is you're condition bad? You _don't _have a virus, right?"

"Of course she doesn't! For the last time, KOS-MOS can not catch a virus!" Shion shouted. With a nod, MOMO placed a hand to KOS-MOS. At once there was a faint flash, and the small android child's eyes seemed to scroll with green zeros and ones.

"Uh...chief..." Allen looked around. "Don't we have something to do? I mean..."

"Diving," Shion said, ignoring him. Allen only sighed and watched.

"Diving... Encephalon Drive? Directly approaching KOS-MOS' consciousness." MOMO announced.

"Keep going, MOMO-Chan." Shion smiled. "When it comes to probing minds, you're the best."

"So, uh...chief. Chief, we don't have to be doing anything here anymore, right?"

"Opening interconnection." Clearly, KOS-MOS was on Shion's agenda, not what ever Allen was talking about. "Allen, could you please back up a bit?" Allen sighed.

"Yeah, I understand. You wanna keep playing with your doll..."

"Hm?"

"I mean...if it means helping KOS-MOS!"

"Whatever you say," Shion said. Still watching as MOMO probed, she sighed. Nothing could be found, just like KOS-MOS said. "MOMO, please stop. KOS-MOS, I think that's enough for now. Lets meet again inside the Encephalon, okay?"

"Comprehended," Replied the azure haired android. With a slight delay, she then said, "...Good night, Shion."

"Well done," Shion smiled, seeing what appeared to be an attempt at KOS-MOS being kind. Or showing _any_ emotion, for that matter. "Good night, KOS-MOS." She replied with a slight pat on the android's head, much like a mother would her child.

Allen only sighed. "I wonder if she was like this with her dolls as a kid..."

* * *

_Western calendar; Year: 20XX  
__Shibuya, Japan._

Three women walked down the streets of Shibuya, the _empty_ street of Shibuya. It looked as if the place had been recently closed down, as if to keep the public out. However, these three women didn't seem to care. Heck, they didn't even seem to want to dress for the weather; though it was cold, all three wore what looked like mock-turtleneck thong outfits and berets.

It almost seemed like a bad joke waiting to happen. A blonde, a brunette, and a black haired girl walk down the streets, wearing almost nothing. That was until a single voice called out to them.

"Wait!"

The three stopped, performing an about face at the same time. Standing behind them was a woman in a blue outfit. On her wrist were two, spiked bracelet, an odd fashion statement. But there was one thing that set her apart from most women, one that any man would recognize; the sheer thickness of her thighs. This could only be _one_ person!

The women all stared, not making a sound. The blonde looked as if she were about to speak, but only a "..." like sound escaped her lips. If there _is_ a sound for that, I mean.

"Don't you understand what I'm saying?" This woman with the thighs, Chun-Li, asked. "This place has been closed off to the public a few days ago! Civilian's are prohibited from entering!"

"..."

Chun-Li sighed. This was getting her nowhere. Heck, they seemed to be mutes, so it wouldn't hurt to come out and say it. "The truth is...I've been following you three. All three of you are members of that organization, aren't you?"

"..."

"You know. _That_ organization. Shadowloo! The international drug traffickers! The destroyers of government property! The killers of more than a dozen law officials! I know who you three are, so don't deny it!" Then, taking a breath. "And I know who you are working for too! M.Bison! So would you be kind enough to tell me about him?"

"..." The blonde didn't speak. However, to Chun-Li's surprise, the brunette and black haired girls did.

"MISSION BEING OBSTRUCTED. PROPOSAL: TERMINATION!"

"PROPOSAL: AGREEMENT."

The blonde then spoke, adding more to Chun-Li's shock. "THERE IS NO TIME FOR YOU TO BE CONCERNED... OUR DUTIES ARE FORGOTTEN. RETARGETING: JAPAN SPECIAL DUTY SYSTEM 'SHINRA'... EXECUTING DUTY. TERMINATION CONTACT."

Chun-Li's eyes were wide with confusion and shock. These girls...they talked like robots! Robots that didn't completely speak clearly at that, at least from what she heard.

"COMPREHENDED."

"COMPREHENDED."

"W-wait!" Chun-Li thought about what was said. These girls...mean to kill her! "Hey! Wait a minute! I was only asking questions!" Then, thinking, "_What on Earth did Shadoloo do to these girls?"_

At the same time, on the opposite side of town, stood two individuals. One, a male, stood a few feet over the other, a female. The male wore a red jacket, worn over a black vest and a white shirt. Red gloves and boots covered his hands and feet. His left arm, well muscled like his right, was currently occupied, however, by a rack of sorts. A weapon rack, to be precise; two swords and a large shotgun were on this rack, and another gun hung at his waist. Of course, this was hardly what people looked at when they saw him. Instead, it was his hair: almost all black except for a white streak on the side of his head. A streak that just stopped at a nice sized scar.

His partner, on the other hand, wasn't as strapped as this male. She held a large, priestess like staff in her hand, while a sword lay at her waist. Of course, exactly how it was _on_ her waist is a question in itself: she also wore a red jacket, but it covered a large black dress, one that had an enormous zipper down the middle. In other, unoccupied hand was also a gun. And also like her partner, she had an unusual hairstyle: it looked like an unholy breed between a pikachu and a nine-tailed fox.

* * *

"Ugh. He made my hair look horrible..." Xiamou said, mouth full of popcorn. 

"I guess that question about you looking in the mirror is out..." He said, reaching in the bucket. However, his hand quickly hit the bottom. "...You ate all my popcorn..."

* * *

"..." The girl looked around. "Reiji...there's no one in town. Even with all these clothes on sale!" She shouted, pointing to a store across from them with "sale" in bright pink letters. "Not a soul. But hey, there's a bit of elegance to this..."

"...There was nothing elegant at all about what you just said, Xiamou," Reiji sighed. "First of all, none of the stores are in business. They haven't been in business for _days_ now." Looking around at the mist-covered town, he shuddered. "Why would you want to shop in this dead atmosphere anyway?"

"Huh. Strange, I didn't know they were closed," Reiji slapped is forehead as his partner thought to herself. "And now that you mention it, the atmosphere IS pretty weird here."

"Yeah," Reiji fingered his gun on his waist. "The place is filled with weird energy. Maybe it's the work of 'those beast'..." The two stopped speaking at once, however. A hissing sound behind them made them both look at each other.

Xiamou smiled. "Well, they're here! The Katmaitachi," Turning around, her smile faded with disappointment. "Oh. Crap." She then pouted. Then, turning to Reiji, she shouted. "How come we're stuck with the low-grade Katmaitachi! Huh? They're not even worth getting my hands dirty, Reiji! How come _we_ have to clean up the trash!" Taking a deep breath, she began to walk away. "Call me when you're done, m'kay?"

"...What?"

"Now now, Arisu Reiji. You can handle these by yourself, can't you?"

"Say what now?" Reiji raised an eyebrow.

"I haven't even eaten breakfast yet," She smiled. "I have a fried tofu meal out in the back, just waiting for me to eat it. When you get finished come let me know okay?"

Reiji looked around. With a quick head count, he counted three Katmaitachi coming at them. "Damn, they're ganging up on us. Hey, Xiamou!"

"Well, sorry Reiji. That's how it is. Now, if you'll excuse me..." Reiji drew his gun, readying to shoot at her. Then, taking a breath to calm himself, he had an idea.

"...And here I was thinking that once we take care of these guys, I would return a little bit of that secret savings we talked about earlier. If you don't want to help I guess there's nothing I can do. I'll take care of this myself," He said in a nonchalant manner, waving his hand. "But if I _do_, I'll be keeping it."

Xiamou froze. On one hand, she was hungry. On the other, there was the fact that she could get some of her money back. Why did he even have to take it, she asked herself. So what she spent the grocery money on this outfit? So what she spent supply money on makeup? It was for a good cause!

With a sigh, she spun quickly, smile on her face. At least this way she could get a new dress. "Alrighty then, Reiji! Let's kick some butt then, shall we?"

Reiji sighed. "...You're such a predictable person. Well, the town is strange and we were sent here to work. Let's hurry and clean up this mess and then continue our investigation!" Tossing his weapon rack in the air, he snatched the second gun as Xiamou ran to his side. Back to back, they pointed their three guns out at the now encircling monsters known as Katmaitachi.

"Shall we begin?" Reiji asked.

"Lets." Xiamou replied, as her gun clicked.

The resulting maneuver was a hail of gunfire from both of their guns in the flashiest way imaginable. Reiji twirled his guns as he aimed around them, bullets slamming into the monster's flesh. Piercing, exiting, and moving to another target, Reiji and Xiamou unloaded their guns in ways fitting for the word 'slaughter.'

Then, with the sound of millions of bullet casings hitting the ground, Reiji pointed his smoking guns downward. "Kore de owari da," He said, as the monsters fell, filled with more holes than Swiss cheese. (_"With this, it's over.)_

Xiamou looked around. Walking over to one of the downed monsters, she nudged it with her toe. Poking it once more, she grinned. "That's how you do it! That's how you get the job done!" She grinned. "So...uh...can I get that 'secret savings' now?" she asked, putting on an innocent face.

"Don't give me that face, acting like you fought them all by yourself." Seeing her face didn't change, he sighed. "All right, let's get back to headquarters. Then I'll-"

"Wait!" Xiamou interrupted. Reiji smiled, folding his arms.

"Oh, how admirable. You don't want it then? Way to go!"

"No...that's not what I meant by wait. If you take that away, so help me god-"

"Right, right," Reiji said. "So what were you talking abou-" Reiji stopped mid-sentence. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed something move in the fog. Not quite human, but not one of the monsters he and Xiamou just smacked down. For one, it didn't have the 'mask' that the Katmaitachi always wore.

"So you finally noticed, huh," Xiamou said, looking around as well. "You're surprisingly slow, you know. Weren't you the one who said the air was weird earlier?"

"I did."

"Well, it felt different from _them_, didn't it?" Then, she stopped. One of the creatures advanced towards them. "What the-"

"..." The creature didn't speak. Both Reiji and Xiamou stared as it focused a single red eye on them.

"Tsk. A fresh supply of troops," Reiji said. "But... why are these guys here _now_? The 'Yuraki,'" He muttered, remembering something from the database. Yuraki; the group that disappeared just before Shinra was formed. From what he gathered, they were the ones sending out the monsters. But these didn't seem like their work. "They're a lot different then what the database at the headquarters reports them as, don't you think?"

Xiamou nodded. "Well then, we have unfamiliar company." She said seriously. That quickly faded, though. "Now now, since you're a pair of fresh faces you have to greet us in only one way." She smiled. "Come on, bow before your mistress Xiamou!" She shouted.

"..." The monster said nothing. If anything, it looked confused.

"Heh, Looks like he doesn't have any manners does he?" Reiji smiled, unfolding his arms. Grabbing his gun, he smirked. "Well in that case my greeting for you is...this!" Pulling the trigger, the bullet flew at the monster at an alarmingly fast speed. It flew and flew...

...And passed straight through it.

"Wh-what?" Reiji blinked.

"The bullet went right through him!" Xiamou asked in shock. "Could that mean...he's a ghost? Hey Reiji, don't be so stingy with those bullets! Keep firing!" She shouted, a bit creeped out.

"I'm not you, I would never do something so petty. It disposed of the bullet by manipulating its spirit-body ratio." Reiji tried to explain. By everything he's seen while working for Shinra, it seemed that was the most logical explanation. "Just what are these things...I get the feeling that they're...not of this world. Could these be...brand-new species born from Yuragi?"

Xiamou looked down. There was something else odd. This monster, unlike the others, wasn't a floating spirit. "Um...it's feet are planted on the ground. Rather firmly, might I add."

"Hmph. We're in deep." Reiji said, backing up slowly. "Xiamou, this is a worse case scenario. Let's fall back for now."

"Bah! How pitiful!" Xiamou spat. "What happened, Reiji? I don't remember raising you to be a wuss over these ten years!"

"Oh shut up," He growled. "I'm not you, I don't rush into combat. Act your age for once."

The girl gave an angry sigh. "Fine. If we're going to pack our stuff and leave, we might as well do it quick."

"Agreed," Said Reiji. A sound filled their ears, however, like the sound of water rushing out of a dam. Looking around, both of them recognized this sound in an instant. "What the? Hey, this can't be...damn it! Another new Yuragi monster?"

He quickly swallowed those words, though. Just behind him, in the mist, were three figures. As the mist cleared a bit, he could see they were all females. A small girl with pink hair; a tall, slim, attractive woman with long blue hair; and an average sized woman with brown hair and glasses. "What the-"

"Ugh," The woman with glasses rubbed her head. Looking around, her eyes grew wide. This wasn't the Elsa! "Wh-where are we?" Then, after a brief second, she clapped her hands together. "Oh! I know where we are!"

"Shion! Are you injured!" Called the blue-haired woman, a seemingly mechanical tone in her voice. Both Reiji and Xiamou looked to each other, agreeing at once: not only were they not from this world, some of those girls were not human.

"I'm okay," The brown haired girl, the one Reiji figured to be Shion, replied. "Besides, we're inside your Encephalon. You see KOS-MOS, for me to be injured would mean my physical body would be hurt. And it can't be hurt in cyber-"

"Um...Shion..." the girl beside her interrupted. "I don't think-"

"Huh? MOMO-Chan? What are you doing inside the Encephalon?"

"...What the heck are they talking about?" Asked Xiamou.

"I have no idea..." Reiji replied. "I think they're civilians. Granted, not so sane civilians... Any idea what an Encephalon is?"

"Not a clue." Xiamou answered. Then, taking a hard look at them, she then continued. "A girl with glasses...an emotionless Robot...and a Loli..." She said. "Well, no man could be unhappy around them." She shrugged.

"..." Reiji shook his head. "It looks like I'm gonna have to get them out of here too. And who are you to call anyone a Lolita?" He asked the girl, who grinned back at him. Then, shouting. "Hey! This place is off limits! What are you doing here?"

"Huh?" Shion looked in their direction. Staring, she then gasped. "Allen was right! KOS-MOS does have a virus! _Two_ of them!"

"We are no longer in cyberspace, Shion." The azure haired woman replied, the one Reiji figured to be this KOS-MOS Shion was talking to. "This is the real world. Somehow we've been transferred to _this_ planet."

"So...what are you saying?" Asked Shion. At the same time, Xiamou asked the same question to Reiji.

"...I believe the current danger backs up my former statement." Replied KOS-MOS.

"I-I knew that!"

"Of course, Shion."

"Was that Sarcasm!"

"Shion, I am incapable of emotion, remember?"

"Um...so where...are we?" The one called MOMO asked.

"Ah...I don't know how to answer that." Shion replied.

"We did not expect you to know, Shion."

"Okay, I know _that_ was an insult, KOS-MOS!"

"Of course not, Shion."

"_Sarcasm!_"

"Shion...I think that's a Gnosis!" MOMO shouted, interrupting the 'argument' between the two. Shion wheeled around, seeing Reiji still watching them and the Xiamou locked in a fierce staring contest with the monster.

"It is!" She gasped. Then, "Eh...what is that girl doing?"

"...What's the matter? 'I can't take it anymore?'"

"You...can understand them?" Reiji asked, surprised at the girl's sudden speech. It seemed the staring of the Gnosis was really her speaking to it.

"Nah. But it seems anxious." She said. Reiji shook his head, turning back to the girls.

"Hey, this place is dangerous! Get to safety now!"

"So we aren't inside the Encephalon..." Shion continued ignoring him.

"You've been saying nothing but confusing things up until now. Attacks have no effect on them! I can't protect you! Get out of here!" Reiji shouted again. At this point, the blue haired woman stepped forward, a visor dropping over her eyes.

"Your concern is appreciated." She said. Then, "Shion! Activating Hilbert Effect!"

"Hilbert..?" Reiji blinked.

"Hey, wait, KOS-MOS! Its too dangerous! Who knows what could happen!" Shion said,

"Dangerous?" Reiji blinked again. "Hey, Xiamou...I think they're about to start firing!"

The android removed the visor briefly, then it dropped over her eyes again. "The presence of Gnosis indicates this as the optimal course of action."

"These people are in danger too, Shion." MOMO said.

"What the hell...?" Reiji blinked. "What the hell is going on? What the hell are they talking about?" However, his partner didn't respond. She was still listening to the Gnosis.

"Hmm..."

"..."

"Damn it! I can't take it anymore!" She shouted.

"KOS-MOS! Activate Hilbert Effect!"

"Understood. Hilbert Effect Activated!"

At once, Reiji heard Xiamou take a step back. "Huh! What the!"

"!" The Gnosis quickly responded, taking a few steps back. Xiamou grabbed Reiji's jacket, tugging a few times. Turning around, Reiji gasped as well; the Gnosis had become much more solid than before.

"I get the feeling they're not ghost anymore..." Said Xiamou.

"No, they were never ghost!" Said MOMO. "They were in between dimensions!"

"...Dimensions?" Reiji raised an eyebrow.

"Precisely. It was required to magnify the possible range of interference. In order to break the perceptual area limit of the alternate dimension, thus rendering all Gnosis vulnerable to attack." Said KOS-MOS. Reiji quickly placed a hand to his forehead, head throbbing from that confusing explanation.

"We get a confusing enemy to deal with, and now I got a confusing explanation on equipment..." He said. "What did that mean? In English?"

"We gave them physical bodies for you to touch." Said Shion.

"Really..." Said Xiamou with a grin. "Well...that means we can hack'em up now, Reiji!"

"Well, that means they have something to do with these monsters..." Said Reiji. Picking up his weapon rack, he drew his swords. "Well Xiamou, it looks like we have another clean up. Lets take these girls in for questioning later." With that, Reiji charged at the closest Gnosis.

Raising his sword, he sliced into it, carving a large gash into its chest. Slashing again, he sliced the Gnosis into two, neatly carved pieces of meat. "Well, they're wimps!" He blinked.

* * *

Meanwhile, limping down the street was a young male in a jacket and glasses. Grumbling under his breath, he walked the streets of Shibuya with confusion on top of hunger on top of confusion. 

"They told me not to pick up that sword," said Kinzoku Souten Hyoukai. "I shouldn't have picked up that sword. I knew picking up that sword would be bad," Reaching in his jacket, he pulled out the very sword he was speaking of. "How was _I_ supposed to know it would warp me miles away?" He moaned.

He froze the minute he heard a gunshot, however. Squinting through all the mist, he saw five figures surrounded by what looked like twelve monsters. "Huh. People in danger. But those aren't oni..." Then, squinting, his eyes locked onto something else: a tall, blue haired woman slicing into one of these monsters with a sword seemingly attached to her arm.

He gasped. "It can't be...can it!" Reaching in his jacket, he drew a small photo. There, the same blue haired woman sat, a far away look on her face. Kinzoku _knew_ who this woman was. "I-its...KOS-MOS!" He then had a far away look of his own. "My _love_ has returned to me!" With that, he sprinted, the obviously heavy sword not slowing him down a bit.

* * *

"DRAGON TOOTH!"  
_Slice  
_"R-Drill!"  
_Whirr  
_"FG-Shot!"  
_Bang Bang Bang._

"She is so cool!" Xiamou squealed as KOS-MOS walked through a crowd of Gnosis with no issue, Vulcan blazing left and right. All four watched as she stopped in front of a Gnosis, fist cocked back. She stopped.

...And sat there, frozen.

"...Hey! What gives! I was watching some grade-A carnage here!" Xiamou shouted.

"...Shion," KOS-MOS suddenly said. Turning around, her red eyes were now blue. Blue...and puffy. "Shion! I feel fat! Is my hair too long? How come I don't feel cute!"

"..." Xiamou and Reiji were speechless. "I take it back. That robot has feelings." Xiamou muttered.

"Oh no, it's happening again..." Shion slapped her forehead. "MOMO-chan! Now!"

"Yes! _Henshin!"_ The little android nodded, spreading her arms. In a flash, her costume transformed to that of a pink schoolgirl out fit. Grabbing her bow, she fired just over KOS-MOS's head at the Gnosis...

"_KOS-MOS! I SHALL PROTECT YOU_!"

The Gnosis in question was split in half sending the arrow flying off into the distance. At once, KOS-MOS's eyes returned to their red color as a young man placed his hand on his shoulder. "There there, KOS-MOS. You're not fat, and you're definitely cute!"

"...Another one from your world?" Reiji asked.

"Never seen him in my life," Shion growled, seemingly disturbed by him placing a hand on KOS-MOS. "Hey! Who are you? KOS-MOS, do you know him!"

"Of course she does." He replied.

"...Unfortunately... This human's name is Kinzoku."

"We met not too long ago, and I fell in love!"

"...He was an ally in combat."

"KOS-MOS, come on. You felt what I feel, right?"

"...Negative."

"HAH!" Shion pointed and laughed. "Still mine!" However, there was a shout in the distance. All of them looked over where Reiji and Xiamou were standing moments ago. In the distance, four figures could be seen...

"I said stop! What part of closed off don't you understand!"

"CONTINUING MISSION!"

"Oh give it a rest already!"

One of the figures turned around. "CONTACT IS OBSTRUCTING MISSION. IDENTIFYING TARGET."

"Wh-what?"

"I think someone is in trouble," Kinzoku said.

"I think we found some more robots," Xiamou said, looking in KOS-MOS' direction. The group heard the sound footsteps, and a figure burst out of the mist, running towards them. With a skidding stop, this woman turned, facing three other women. "Oh my god..." Xiamou gasped, hands on her mouth.

"Hmm? What is it?" Reiji asked.

"Her legs...LOOK AT HER LEGS! MY GOD!"

"...Wow. Those are some killer thighs..."

"Are those natural?" Shion asked.

"They look almost swollen..." Kinzoku said, cleaning his glasses and looking again.

"...They appear to be muscled..." said KOS-MOS.

Chun-Li's eyebrows twitched upon hearing these comments. First these robot girls attack her, now these people are making comments about her legs. It wasn't until the blonde girl spoke again that she remembered her situation.

"...CURRENT SITUATION BEYOND CONTROL. UNKNOWN LIFEFORMS DETECTED." She said. "SHADOLOO AGENT CAMMY RETURNING TO BASE. AGENTS JUNI AND JULI, QUERY?"

"JUNI WILL REMAIN."

"JULI WILL REMAIN."

This little speech would have continued, had one of the Gnosis not lunged at Cammy. The girl caught this large creature, not looking in its direction at all. Throwing it at Chun-Li, she looked to her allies. With a nod, she was gone in a sound similar to rushing water.

"Ack! What!" Chun-Li shouted as the Gnosis flew at her. Delivering a well-timed kick, she knocked it skyward, only for it to be torn apart by gunfire from KOS-MOS, Reiji, and Xiamou. This prompted the attention of the Shadoloo girls, who looked in their direction.

"TARGET IDENTIFIED AS CHUN-LI. COMENCING COMBAT." With that, Juni shot forward, spinning like a spear. "CANNON SPIKE!"

"TARGET ADJUSTED," Said Juli. "TARGET COMFIRMED, ARISU REIJI. ORIGINAL TARGET FOUND. COMENCING SAMPLING." Reiji raised an eyebrow.

"...How does she know me?" He asked.

"Because you're so sexy, Reiji." Xiamou teased. "I wonder if she'll sample me?"

"ADDITIONAL TARGET ACQUIRED. ADDITIONAL TARGET DEEMED NOT A THREAT."

"WHAT?" Xiamou screamed. Drawing her gun, she then shouted. "I'll show _you_ who's not a threat!" With that, she opened fire on the girl, who quickly ran at them as well. Nimbly dodging, Juli delivered a swift kick to Xiamou, knocking her into Reiji and sending them to the ground. Reiji rolled as the girl punched the ground, breaking the cement with her fist.

"We got to help them," Said Kinzoku, but was grabbed by KOS-MOS. "Oh? What does this mean?"

"There are still Gnosis in the area. We must deal with them before dealing with the human targets." KOS-MOS replied. "Arisu Reiji is capable of combat on his own." With that, she faced the Gnosis, vulcan drawn.

"Well then...please feel safe, KOS-MOS!" With that, he charged into combat, wildly swinging his sword at the Gnosis. However, during this time, the azure haired android was still targeting. "Kinzoku is in the way. Approximate wait time; 30 seconds."

Thirty seconds passed. Kin was still swinging his sword, Reiji and Chun-Li were still fighting, and Shion and MOMO were also still fighting. KOS-MOS simply raised her Vulcan. With a vocal warning of "Kinzoku!" She opened fire.

"Huh-ACK!" Bullets impacted on the Gnosis, but also collided with Kin. Knocked aside, the victims of this attack all shuddered and died. Save for Kinzoku, of course, who stood up. Looking at his clothes, the bullets tore holes in his jacket. "Hey! That's no way to treat someone you love!"

Meanwhile, Chun-Li jumped over another Cannon Spike. Planting her hand on the ground, she flipped, slamming her foot into Juni's face. The girl rolled with the blow, standing up, but found her self in a poor position. Many, many kicks collided with her face, sending her reeling from the blow.

At the same time, Reiji and Xiamou delivered a double cut to Juli, slashing the back of her uniform. Planting her staff into the ground, Xiamou delivered a swinging kick to Juli's face like Chun-Li did. Staggering, she held out her hand!

"Reiji!"

"Right! Lets go!

"SUPAKUU WAVE!"

Four orbs of electricity hovered around Juli, but were quickly linked together by lightning chains, shocking her. Reiji drew his sword, slashing numerous times, sword flashing with fire and lightning as well. Sheathing his sword, he drew another, one much longer. With a powerful slash, the girl was sent skidding away, colliding with her teammate that Chun-Li has finished off.

"H-HEAVY DAMAGE...REMAINING LPO: .55 ...ESTIMATED RECOVERY TIME: 180 SECONDS." Said Juni, who appeared to be gasping.

"MISSION UNLIKELY TO BE ACCOMPLISHED." Agreed Juli. " INTERRUPTING SAMPLING AT 52. RETURNING TO BASE." With that, the girls began to leave, walking in the opposite direction before breaking into a full run.

"H-hey! Get back here!" Chun-Li shouted, running after them.

"Hey! They're leaving! We won!" Shouted Xiamou.

"I can't let them escape!" She replied. With that, she continued, charging at them in chase.

"...Shall I persue?" KOS-MOS asked.

"We could always catch up with them..." Said Shion.

"...No, let her go." Reiji said. "..._We_ still have to report to headquarters." Reiji looked in their directions. "Oh, that means you too, by the way." With that, he began to walk. "Come on, lets go."

"...Um...we're under arrest?" Kinzoku asked. "I just go here!"

"We're just going in for questioning," Shion muttered. "Oh. And get your dirty hands off KOS-MOS! I'm gonna have to clean all those bloody finger prints off because of you!"

"Hey, I'm sorry! Not like you don't enjoy, though..."

"I _so_ do not!"

* * *

In the distance, a woman watched this small group travel. Sitting in at a bench, she giggled as they passed, taking a sip from a bottle. "Well, it looks like Arisu Reiji made some friends, eh boys?" 

"Looks that way." Said a man in a red jacket, also drinking from a bottle. "So miss sexy fox lady, shall we go in?"

"Because, you know, we are pretty much your slaves and such..." Said another in a blue jacket, taking a sip from a bottle as well.

"Not yet. Just enjoy your sodas." She smiled. "Let's just enjoy the show. Okay Cecil? Manic?"

"Yes ma'am. (God I hate this job)." Muttered the one in the blue jacket, Cecil.

"No sweat, miss. (I know what you mean)." Replied the one in the red jacket, Manic.

"Hm? Did you say something?"

"No ma'am."

"Good. Now Cecil, mama needs a new coat of nail polish. And Manic, my weapons need a good wax job."

"..."

"..."

"I mean it! Get to work!"

"Yes ma'am..."

* * *

**_Prolouge one complete. Yes, it's long. Yes, they get longer. Yes, this is based on a real game, so I'm not taking any request. Read and Review : )_**


	2. Prologue: Hey Look! A Tower!

"_Shinra Agents Arisu Reiji and Xiamou._

_The crew of the cargo ship Elsa: Shion, MOMO, and KOS-MOS._

_Interpol agent Chun-Li._

_And Shadoloo agents Cammy, Juni, and Juli._

"_All appeared in Shibuya today and met under unusual circumstances. All at once, the presence of Shinra was known, Shadoloo introduced itself, and the thick thighed wonder helped save the day._

"_What's about to happen next, however, is a COMPLETELY unrelated event. _

"_Please, enjoy the show."_

"Hey, mister director man! Was that stupid introduction necessary?" Shouted a small girl with an enormous amount of red hair. "I just finished my snacks in the time that thing played!"

"You're trying to stretch this move as long as you can, aren't you?" Shouted another man in the back, one in a white gi. "You're wasting film! I could have shown up in all that time!"

"Oh be quiet before I cut all of you completely out of the movie!" Trinku shouted. Chairs, popcorn boxes, and blue balls of energy being hurled at him was the response to his response, however. Weakly, he then added. "To the other viewers in the audience (you readers), reading while listening to the character themes makes it more enjoyable. G'wan. Try it!"

**Prologue (2):**

"_Hey look! A tower!"_

Illusionary World - Oberon Corp. Secret Plant, Undersea Cave

The walls of the cave reflected the light off the water, sending an eerie glow around the area. The two individuals walking through this cave were a bit disturbed by it, but not enough to stop. This trek they took part in was one that had to be completed, regardless of the surroundings.

"Unless something leaps out and eats us, of course," Muttered a blonde young man in armor-like clothing, a headband tied around his head. Obviously, he wasn't a fan of deep dark caves.

"Hmm? What did you say Stahn?" The girl following him asked. Unlike her knightly friend, she wore a simple pair of shorts and a red-black tee shirt. Clearly, she knew what being casually dressed meant.

"I just thought that it's a bit weird. We've been following Leon for a long time now, right Rutee?" He asked. "But every time we've come close, something has always jumped out and tried to bite our heads off. But _now_, there's nothing here." Stahn explained. "So...where's the twenty foot tall yeti today?"

"He's on company vacation. Union rules." The two jumped. Standing in front of them was Leon Magnus himself, looking in a...mirror? "You know...they say I'm a bishonen, but I don't see it." He said, stroking his chin.

"Leon! What are you trying to pull?" Stahn shouted, drawing his sword. "What are you doing here!"

"'What am I trying to pull?'" He repeated slipping the mirror in his pocket. "Just as you see, my friend. But, if you want to go any further, you'll have to defea-"

"Yeah, we know! 'If we want to proceed, we have to kill the bad guy first'," Said Rutee. "But we don't _want_ to fight you! Can't you see this is an emergency?"

"Oh, I know you don't want to." Leon smiled, stretching. "I'm just fulfilling my assignment...That is, to be the one to kill all of you."

"Open your eyes, Leon!" Stahn shouted. "Not only are you being manipulated by Hugo, but you just turned a bad-ass line like that into something that sounds terrible!"

"Oh...Did I? Hmmm..." Leon turned around, drawing a small booklet. "'That is...to be the one to kill you...' Hmmm...It does sound terrible..." Then, turning back around. "But you're right! To Hugo I am a tool. As disposable as a plastic fork."

"Well, if you know that, why are you working for him?" Asked Rutee.

"Because I have something to protect." Leon shrugged the question off. "That's all, really." Then, drawing a pair of rapiers, he smirked. "Are you ready now? Done with the questions? Let's do this, Stahn!"

"Leon! This isn't... This isn't the time or place for that!" Stahn shouted, still gripping his sword, ready to swing should Leon attack him. "! The "Eye of Atamoni" is something no human should possess! Let alone protect."

"Oooh. That's old school Tales right there..." Said Zelos Wilds, taking a bite of a nacho.

"Ssshh!" Hissed Sheena Fujibayashi. "Its bad enough we're not in it, but you're ruining the movie now!"

"Sorry..."

"That, dear Stahn, has nothing to do with me." Leon smiled. "But I _will_ protect it."

"Damn it, Leon! Something is going wrong in our world and here you are helping whatever it is!" Stahn shouted. "You know the story of the "Time Key," don't you?"

"I know it," Leon said. "It was the treasure of the Divine World, stolen by some devil, right?" Then with a sigh, he continued. "But... I told you that has nothing to do with me, Stahn! Now, are we going to fight or are we going to stand her, because I'm tired of holding this pose!"

Stahn gripped his sword. "Leon...!" Fed up with holding his pose as well, Stahn swung his sword, hitting Leon with one of his more familiar moves. "SHISHI! SENKOOOOOOO!" He shouted, cutting a neat gash across mister Magnus' chest.

Leon staggered, lightly touching the cut. Then, he raised his swords again. "Stahn! This...is not over yet!" He said, a slight gasp between his words. "I can not let you pass!"

"Oh give it a rest, Leon! I don't want to fight you! Do you get it yet? Me no want to fight. No es combato. Nien! Iie! No!" Stahn said. However, at once all three of them heard a loud crack fill the air. "...What the heck was that?" Rutee pointed up, however. All three looked to the ceiling to see a large crack spreading across the top, water dripping through.

"...Heh... heheheh... it's begun. I... win..." Smiled Leon. Stahn stared at him as if he was stupid, however.

"Leon...that's a crack. In the ceiling. Of an underwater cave. Not only would you drown if all that came down, you would explode under the water pressure!" Stahn explained intelligently.

"...He's right Leon. You should leave with us!" Said Rutee.

"The clock signaling... the end... has started... to move..." Leon grinned. Clearly, the cut Stahn gave him was deeper than intended. "Now... no one... can stop... it..."

"Leon, it's going to flood!"

"Stahn, we have to leave!"

"I'm not leaving him!"

"We have to go!"

"LEON!"

Leon Magus only grinned, giving a slight wave to Stahn and Rutee. "Good-bye Stahn. Good-bye, Rutee. And good-bye... Marian..." He never saw the two run back out the cave. Nor did he see the small creature grab him by the back of his pants and drag him further down the cave...

Meanwhile, at the same time in a completely different area stood a furry creature. This creature, what looked to be a cross between a rabbit, a cat, and had the same colored fur as a skunk, looked like a small child from a distance. Garbed in a blue shirt, blue shorts, and a hat with a yellow, three-fourth circle symbol, this cabbit-like creature looked up at the sky with a sigh.

"He's so late," sighed Klonoa, as he rocked back and forth. "What's that guy doing anyway?" He asked no one in particular. However, he could hear a buzzing sound coming. A faded sound that seemed to be growing closer. "Hm? That sound-?" He thought, standing up.

Coming straight at him was what looked to be a motorcycle of sorts. This motorcycle had no wheels, though. Instead, it floated a foot off the ground like a hover bike. However, this did not slow it down in the least bit. Quite the contrary, a dust cloud was trailing it as it approached. Coming to a stop, a brown, wolf-like creature as small as Klonoa smiled behind sunshades. Moving his scarf, Guntz smiled at the cabbit. "Yo," He said simply. "Sorry to keep you waiting, Klonoa."

"Keep me waiting? You called me out!" Klonoa said. "What's up with that? You're supposed to be here first, not be late!"

"Don't whine about it," Guntz said, stepping off the bike with a scowl. "Such a child as always...I've been going through some things, ya know."

"Don't give me that!" Klonoa shouted. "I'm sick of you calling me a child, Guntz! When will you respect me! I have feelings! I'm not a doll!" The small wolf creature sighed as his companion ranted. Drawing something from his waist, he fired a single bullet into the air, silencing Klonoa.

"You done?" Guntz asked. "Feel better?"

"Yeah, actually." Klonoa said. "Sorry, frustrated. I've been sitting on a rock for the past few hours, you kn-" Klonoa cut himself short as a bird hit the ground in front of them, a large bullet hole in its chest. "..."

"...Oops."

"...So anyway," Klonoa said, kicking the bird away from them. "What's this 'stuff' you called me out here for. I wont do anything illegal, just so you know."

Guntz shook his head. "Nothing illegal. But don't you get the feeling there's been a disturbance around the world?"

"Disturbance?" Klonoa asked. "Really? What kind of disturbance? Not one of those world ending ones, right? I can't handle something like that..."

"Geez, this is exactly what's wrong in the village too. Its too peaceful, all of you can't handle something like this," Guntz sighed. "Makes me want to find someone useful--"

"I _am_ useful!" Klonoa shouted. "And exactly what is this disturbance, anyway?"

"Heh, something familiar, actually..."

"Oh! Is it another dream monster?" Klonoa asked. It had been months since the last dream incident, and to be honest, he was as bored as Guntz. Anything would do about now, even sixty story tall dragons. "Well, why didn't you say so? Let's go exterminate it!"

"No, its that," Guntz said. "Its something pretty bad. Worse, maybe."

"Pretty bad? Exactly what is it, then? Come on, tell me!" Klonoa shouted, tired of Guntz's riddles. Guntz, however, heard a beeping at his waist. Drawing a small device, he looked to the screen as Klonoa peeked over his shoulder. There, a beeping dot was moving across the screen.

"...It looks the Golden Knight is making his move..." Guntz said, placing the device back to his side.

"Golden Knight...?" Klonoa asked. Then, he realized what Guntz meant. "Oh wait! _The_ Golden Knight? How the heck did you manage to get a tracking device on _him_? Are you stalking _him_ now too?"

"In him."

"What?"

"The tracking device is _in_ him."

"...Oh, you've got to be kidding me. He didn't _feel_ that!"

"Lets just say you can do anything with lubricant these days."

"..."

"Anyway, yeah, I put a device on him," Guntz explained. "It's been years since that battle of his. I figured we could use him if the circumstances ever called for it. And now the circumstances are beyond it."

"So what is it that's so urgent? When are you going to tell me?"

"The golden knight it required for _this_ battle. Come on, kid, think," Guntz said. "And then we still have to track down the Silver knight and the Maiden knight..." He folded his arm when he saw Klonoa was still confused. "Fine! It's Druaga! D-R-U-A-G-A! Happy!"

"Oh!"

"Bingo. But the fact is that he's working for someone," Guntz said. "_We_, as heroes and everything, need to find out who and help shut them down. That's how things are now, okay? Are you in now, kid?"

"...This is very interesting, Guntz," He grinned.

"I was waiting for you to say that," Guntz grinned. "Interesting is one way to put it. Its decided then. Lets go!"

"Of course," Klonoa smiled. Then, "...But...we'd have to go to that royal palace place. I don't think they'd let us in easily," He noticed Guntz' grin widen. Sighing, he asked, "Don't tell me you... plan on busting down the castle gate...?"

"Just what kind of guy do you think I am!" Guntz shouted, offended. "Isn't it obvious where we're going? We're gotta get the Golden Knight first, ya know."

"...You're going to kidnap the golden knight?"

"...Yeah, when you put it that way, it sounds bad, doesn't it?"

"I thought I said I wasn't going to do anything illegal!"

At the same time – Sandland Highway 

A man in golden armor walked down the beaten path, a golden lance in his hands. He appeared to be walking slowly, as he knew someone was following him. With a sigh, the man, who looked more like a frog than a human, turned around to see someone standing directly behind him.

"..." The frogman sighed as the person approached. It appeared to be a young girl with white hair, wearing a tight purple outfit with a hood. She stopped, glaring at him.

"Hold it!" This person in purple shouted. The tone in the voice confused the frogman; was it really a girl? Or was it a boy? He didn't make a sound as this purple clad person continued. "I know why you're leaving. I heard it too. You're as reckless as ever."

"...Sabine?" He asked. It sounded like Sabine. It almost looked like Sabine. In fact, he even though it may be someone dressed up like Sabine, doing a perfect Sabine impression. "...You're not Sabine, are you?"

"Sabine was busy when we started filming, so I'm taking his place," This person whispered. "The name's Garlyle, but for all intents and purposes, call me Sabine."

"..."

"I've spoken with the clan head!" This person who pretended to be Sabine continued. "Didn't the goddess Ishtar _strictly_ forbid the Xandra clan from getting involved in this affair? Well, Krino?"

"Yes. Yes she did." Krino continued as well.

"Your conduct is insubordinate to the Goddess!" 'Sabine' shouted. "For a decision made by a man called 'Hero', it's a rather poor decision."

"And this has nothing to do with that title. Back when that person saved me in the desert, in that blazing pyramid, I decided to help them regardless of the consequences. I _will_ use what life I have and the sake of my clan to support that person. I _will_ support Lady Valkyrie, the Maiden Knight."

"Hah! How elegant," Sabine laughed. "And you decide to help her by leaving with just a spear and a single suit of armor? Without anyone at all seeing you off? How pathetic," He smiled.

"No. I'm grateful to the clan chief for allowing me to leave. He didn't pass judgment on me, he didn't call me a traitor." Krino explained. "He _did_ banish me from the clan, but that does not matter. He told me not to worry about the clan, that is all I asked to know."

"Always the solitary figure," Sabine shook his (?) head. "Even when you saved my mom, you came and left alone that Tower of Illusion, didn't you?"

"...That's the past, Sabine."

"Well then, O' former 'Hero of the Xandra clan', which direction are you going?" Sabine asked.

"To the ruins of 'that tower.'" Krino said. "There's no need for you to get branded as one alongside me." He then continued to walk along his path, leaving Sabine to stare.

"Huh?" Sabine asked. "When I want to go someplace, I just go there, that's all! Though I might incidentally wind up on the same path as you, it doesn't mean I'm going _with_ you!" He shouted.

"...You've changed." He said. "If this were the old days, even while you were shooting off at the mouth, you'd never say anything like that."

Sabine only smiled. "Hehehe. As you said, Krino...that is the past." The boy (?) looked up, however. He heard something move not too far away. "...It looks like something is in our path, Krino." He said, as the creatures revealed themselves. Various creatures, slimes, knight-like creatures, and other forms of creatures appeared around them. "I think they were following you."

"Or you, for that matter." Krino simply said, drawing his spear. "Well then, we're going the same path. That means we'll both have to fight these off."

Over a cliff, however, were two people as well. Stahn and Rutee clutched their weapons, also surrounded by various slimes and knights. LOTS of slimes, enough to invade a small village or two.

"Just when we get close to the Tower, this happens," Stahn sighed.

"Typical," Rutee sighed. "It's a typical deal. Once you make progress, they throw millions of monsters at you. Can't they just let us finish what we came here to do."

"First rule of RPGs. Never give the heroes and easy time." Stahn sighed. Then, looking at the monsters, he asked, "But...could these be monsters from the Tower of Druaga? I thought that tower was abandoned."

"Stahn, these are slimes," Rutee sighed. "SLIMES! Come on, low grade monsters! They're the roaches of the monster world! They appear EVERYWHERE!" She said.

"...Yeah. I might have been over thinking. Oh well," He gripped his sword. Swinging it, a small tornado of wind knocked the closest slime into the air. "Dance Hurricane!" He shouted. Rutee ran at him, jumping and planting a foot on his shoulder. Springing, she flipped into the air, sword raised to destroy the slime.

"Bloody Rose!" She shouted, front flipping in the air. Spinning, numerous slashed knocked the slime to the ground, where the girl then delivered a rapid amount of stabs at the slime. Rolling out of the way, Stahn was in the air, sword pointed down. Stabbing it in the jelly-creature, it exploded in a shower of green goop.

"...Wow. They ARE low grade." Stahn said, as he wiped the fragments of the monster off of him. However, as soon as they managed to clean it all off, there was a splat behind them. Turning around, the two frowned. More enemies had appeared, this time, black versions.

"...Are black slimes low grade?" Stahn asked.

"Is anything black low grade?" Rutee asked, slapping Stahn on the back of the head. With a sigh, she looked down at the ground. "Well this sucks. Now we're surrounded by enemies and there's only two of—"

"WAHOOO!"

The two looked up at the sound of the shout and the roar of a motorcycle. Landing with a bang and a screeching skid, a hover bike of sorts landed next to them with two people riding it. One of them laughed. "Wow, Guntz! Faster than I expected!"

"Well, I did add a nitrous super charger a while back, Klonoa. We can go faster than that." The other replied.

"Wh-who the heck are you!" Stahn shouted. "More enemies! We can't take ALL of you!" He was silenced by another slap to the back of the head, however.

"Look at them, Stahn. They look like they're from Marble Island," Rutee said. Rubbing the back of his head, Stahn looked. They _did_ look like the animal people from that island.

"Hey!" Guntz called out. "What're you two doing here? What's with you guys! If you were on a date, you picked a helluva lousy spot!" He shouted. "Pack up! We'll clear this place out."

"By ourselves?" Klonoa asked. "Come on Guntz, that was mean. Leave them alone."

"Did he just say...date?" Stahn said, looking to Rutee with a grin. However, he found himself victim to yet another slap.

"Date? With a country bumpkin like _this_!" She shouted. "No way!"

"Rutee..."

"I said no!"

"Rutee, the slimes!"

"So we did come in the middle of something," Klonoa said. Then, he noticed the single black slime. "Oh! Now that's rare!"

"What a pain..." Guntz said. "Klonoa! It looks like we'll have something to do until the Golden Knight shows up! Lets have a little fun, shall we?" He asked, kicking the cycle to life.

"Wahoo! This will be a great warm up!" Klonoa shouted.

"...Golden Knight?" Rutee asked. "You guys are looking for him too?"

"Too? You guys are—"

"Save the chatting for later!" Stahn shouted. "They're getting closer!"

"Geez, fine," Rutee rolled her eyes. "I mean, they're just slimes. What're you so upset about?" Stahn, however, was lost in thought.

"Black slimes are from the tower of Druaga, for sure. If that's true, then..." It wasn't until a slime pounced on him that he remembered why he was there. However, he couldn't do much as the slime squiggled all over his face. "GAH! IT'S MOLESTING MY FACE!"

"Oh god..." Rutee slapped her face. Turning to Guntz, she pointed to Stahn's face. "Could you do me a favor? Blast this thing off."

"WHAT!"

A flaming bullet shot through the slime, obliterating it into a million tiny globs of goo. Stahn, however, only stared straight into the sky as Rutee stood over him. Judging by the look, he went through something bad...and getting shot at didn't help his situation. "I hate all of you..." He said, starting to sit up, but was knocked back down as Klonoa jumped over him, ring projecting a beam sword from a very large ring. "..." Stahn wept silently as everyone ran over his downed body, attacking the single slime all at once. Soon enough, it exploded too, showering Stahn in more goo. Standing up weakly, he noticed Rutee blushing with a grin as Guntz and Klonoa spoke to her.

"Three down, sis. You're not too shabby." Guntz said.

"Of course not. Who do you think I am?" She said, still grinning as Stahn approached the small group, not finding the heart to kill the remaining two slimes. Klonoa, however, looked up.

"...I feel a strong spirit here," Klonoa said. "I think it has something to do with these monsters but I can't tell where it is..." However, the cabbit and the wolf watched Stahn jump as if being shouted it.

"_Stahn! We've got problems!_" Both he and Rutee heard

"Eh?" Rutee asked. Stahn held up his sword, looking to it. Then, moving his lips...

"Yeah, there's a nasty atmosphere around here," He said, shocking both of the animal-creatures as he seemingly talked to his sword. "Something isn't right indeed."

"_Rutee, the area around here... It seems to be getting strangely distorted._" Came the voice from her sword. "_As if something that shouldn't be here is forcing its way through."_

"Wait, what does that mean..." Rutee asked her sword, not noticing the odd looks Klonoa and Guntz were giving her.

"...Guntz..."

"Yeah?"

"They're talking...to their swords..."

"Yeah..."

"Should we be worried? I mean, if we're not supposed to be worried..."

"Its safe to say our companions are nuts, Klonoa."

"Hey! Who are you two calling nuts?" Rutee shouted, pointing her sword at Guntz. "Look, only a Swordian user can hear the swordians' voices, okay."

"Sure. What ever you say, sister," Guntz rolled his eyes. "Wacko."

"SAY THAT AGAIN! I DARE YOU!"

"_Rutee! Incoming! Focus on the battle at hand!"_ Her swordian shouted to her. Behind her, she could hear Stahn shift. She knew that was never a good sign, and she only guessed that meant that the enemies were closer. However, Stahn said something else...

"Blue Knights...!" Stahn shouted. Turning around, Rutee saw three Knights advancing on them, armed lightly, but well enough to tear them to pieces. "What are they doing here?"

"Attacking us?" Klonoa said, answering Stahn. "I mean, its like everything else is..."

"_Those knights aren't human, though,"_ Said Stahn's Swordian. "_Stahn, keep your guard up."_

"...Your sword knows these enemies?" Guntz asked, seeing Stahn silent. "Not friendly, right?" Stahn nodded. With a sigh, Guntz placed a hand to his head. "Gotta get a translator for that fancy sword of yours..." However, every knight advanced again...and slaughters the slimes as they went. "..."

"...Who's side are they on?" Klonoa asked. "And how come they left the black one?"

"I thought so. They're with Drua—"

"Those blue Knights! I knew it!"

"Someone HAD to interrupt me." Stahn sighed. Looking up, two figures stood on a cliff, staring down at them. All of them were blinked, however, as the sun reflected off the armor. "Hey, is that--?"

"Is he...the Golden Knight?" Rutee asked. Donning his sunshades, Guntz looked down at his tracker. He was unable to see the screen, however, as the glint of the armor caused a glare on the screen.

"Hey, Krino," Gar—I mean – Sabine whispered. "There are others down there too? Shall we take them out?"

"No... Not those people," Krino said. Then, taking a hard look, he shouted. "But those are enemies! Servants of Druaga!" He shouted, pointing to the knights.

"I knew it!" Stahn shouted. However, Klonoa squinted through the glare of the armor, grinning. "Hey, Guntz!" He said. "Its Krino!"

"Who?"

"Krino!"

"Who?"

"KRINO!" Klonoa shouted. "Krino of Sandland!"

"Krino...Krino...Kri—Wait! You mean the Maiden Knight's sidekick?" Guntz asked.

"Yeah, isn't it awesome!"

"...You're quite the celebrity, eh Krino?" Sabine asked, elbowing the frogman playfully in the ribs. "I told you you're a hero."

"No, I am not," Krino said. "I am only known as Lady Valkyrie's...Assistant!" He shouted, leaping off the cliff. Landing with a bang, a cloud of sand kicked up around him as Sabine landed. Ignoring the 'boy's' yelps of pain, the frogman surveyed the area. "The demon Druaga...and now these people..."

"Hey, they have weapons. Maybe we should help them out," Sabine winced. "Nice entrance, by the way."

"Thank you."

"...I don't get this at all..." Rutee shook her head. "You _are_ on our side, right?"

"Are you with Druaga?"

"No, Krino sir!" Klonoa saluted.

"Then I am on your side." Krino returned the salute. Drawing his spear, he pointed to the Knight brigade, which halted before him. "The blue knights are the weakest among them, but do not let your guard down! Come, Sabine!"

"..." The boy in purple blushed.

"What?"

"You just told me to com-"

"Now's not the time for that, boy!"

"I never said I was a boy, you know!"

"Oh just follow me!" He shouted, running at the Knight. Stahn and Rutee clutched their weapons, as did Klonoa and Guntz.

"A blue knight of Druaga, huh..." Said Stahn. Rutee, who ran him towards the knight, grabbed his arm. "Stahn, don't you dare wimp out on me now!"

"Yeah, or you won't get any!" Shouted Guntz, kicking his cycle to life as Klonoa hoped on the back. The team shot towards a knight of their own, power sliding and knocking it aside. Klonoa ran at it, ring slashing the Knight across the armor. Cracking it, a single tentacle shot out at him, causing him to fall over in shock. "What the heck is that!"

"Shinigami Fire!" Guntz shouted, shooting a burning bullet at the Knight. The knight crashed into Rutee and Stahn, to which Stahn grinned.

"Ikuzo!" He shouted, tossing his shield into the air. The poor knights never stood a chance as he kicked, slashed, punched, slashed... all in a rapid-fire combo. Crouching low, he delivered a high rising fiery slash, sending them flying to Krino and Sabine.

Sabine smiled as the two knights bounced off of their own. Extending a hand, he shot a fireball, catching each on fire. Krino swung his spear, sending a whirlwind flying and hurling the two in the air. He, Stahn, and Klonoa all leapt, slicing the knights into cubes as they passed. All landing, they ducked under a torrent of gunfire from Guntz, destroying the only remaining creature behind them; the lone black slime. Exploding in a shower of gunfire, the team all gave thumbs up, with the exception of Krino.

"...Something wrong?" Klonoa asked, seeing the look on the frogman's face.

"...Yes..." Krino pointed. Just ahead of them, more knights formed out of seemingly mid air, followed by many other strange creatures. Strange, strange creatures...orange creatures with little red gloves and large black eyes that were adorable, but unnerving to look at. Klonoa, however, recognized these creatures in an instant.

"Genju!" Klonoa shouted. "Illusion beast! What the heck are they doing here?"

"Of all the weird things that happened today, this bothers you?" Guntz asked. However, a very annoying laugh interrupted all their thoughts.

"Oh-hohohoho!" The sound of this horrible, horrible laugh made everyone wince at the sound. Looking above the crowd of monsters, they managed to make out a small, round figure staring down at them. It laughed again once it noticed it had their attention. "Well, I though _I_ would come and cause a bit of ruckus, but it looks like someone has beaten me here..."

"And just who the heck are you?" Rutee asked. "And what is it with everyone appearing on cliffs?"

"Oh-hohohoho! I forgot to introduce myself!" the ball creature laughed again. "I am Joker. You could have asked the small one for that." Joker laughed, pointing a small arm at Klonoa. "Of course, as you can see, I have no intention of meeting you again."

"As we can se... wait a minute!" Stahn pointed his sword at the creature. "Are you the one instigating Druaga's followers? I should run up and slice you in half, you freak!" Joker paid no attention to the blonde boy, however. Instead, his eyes (if you can call them that) locked on to Krino's golden armor.

"Oh? Oh-hohohohoho!" Joker laughed his annoying, earsplitting laugh again. "Well, if it isn't sir Krino, the fake Golden Knight!"

"I never called myself the golden—"

"That would explain why lord Druaga's henchmen are having such a hard time," The creature said quietly. However, it clearly wasn't too quietly, as the group heard him rather easily.

"Lord Druaga..." Stahn muttered. "That must mean..."

"He looks up to Druaga highly?" Klonoa asked. Guntz, who slapped him in the back of the head with his gun, quickly answered him.

"It means he's running things! And Druaga must be alive!" Guntz shouted. The creature laughed again, to which Guntz pointed a gun. "After learning that, we can't let him get away!"

"Oh-hohoh—"

"STOP LAUGHING LIKE THAT!" Guntz shouted, shooting at Joker. The creature glared back at him in an annoyed manner (you can't really tell though, seeing as his eyes are little plus-signs), before continuing his speech.

"Fine! No-hohohohoho!" Joker laughed, causing everyone to wince again. Grinning at their reaction, he went on. "However, there are obstacles that need to be removed before our project can get underway."

"Project...?" Rutee thought. Then, snapping her fingers, "Oh, I get it! Druaga's not alive at all, is he? No, you just want his name, huh?" She asked. "Sounds about right. I doubt he's alive..."

"Hmhmho?" Joker half laughed. "Well, that was in interesting theory. But you're wrong, miss. Of course—" With a snap of his small fingers the solders advanced on the group. "I shouldn't be telling dead bodies anything, should I?"

"That's right, you shouldn't tell dead bodies anything. Now, you could tell us as your parting gift to the afterlife!"

"!" Krino looked up. Across from Joker, on the cliff where he and Sabine once stood, stood two more figures. And, like before, the sun reflected off a golden suit of armor, shining brightly over the entire area.

"Krino, my eyes hurt!" Sabine moaned. "Get out of the sun!"

"Its not me..." He said, turning the small child in the direction of the source. The child gasped. "Hey, its—"

"' Parting Gift on my way to the afterlife?'" Joker stroked his chin. "Well, that has a nice ring to it..." He said as this new person stood before him. "But I'm sure Lord Druaga wouldn't like that."

"How can he argue? He was driven off into the 'Interval of time.'" Said a woman. Joker grinned again.

"Yes. But that's been opened, obviously! Jeez, put two and two together and figure everything out for once." He stuck his tongue out at the pair, which the armored man growled at the sight.

"Then that means someone had to release him..." He said. "Who released Druaga you little—"

"Gil. I think _he_ stole the key." The woman said, putting two and two together like the small creature suggested.

"Gil?" Klonoa gasped.

"That means he's..." Rutee said.

"The Golden Knight who slew Druaga..." Stahn's eyes were the size of dinner plates.

"Gilgamesh!" Sabine squealed as Guntz looked to his tracker. Indeed, it was beeping in recognition of the Golden Knight himself. "And that mean's she's Ki! Yay, we have super stars on our side!"

"Ahem."

"I thought you didn't think of yourself as a hero, Krino." Sabine gave the coughing frogman a sideways glance. Gilgamesh continued his speech, however, as he drew his sword and pointed across the ravine at Joker.

"As long as he exist...my duty will never end!" Gil shouted. "With that said, you can make a good, rough estimate about what's going to happen next!"

"Thank you mister clown," Ki bowed. "But now we have to slay you."

"What! First you lead me on and trick me with questions, then say you'll kill me! Boy, talk about lowdown, dirty, and a sleazy way to get information!" Joker howled.

"Whatever works." Guntz muttered, realizing the clown just recited every trait about him.

"That creature has some anger misplacement issues..." Krino said under his breath.

Klonoa laughed, pointing a shaking finger at Joker. "I planned to blow you away anyway! This will just make things easier!"

"Oh, right! Before we set fire to the entire ravine—"

"WHAT!"

"—Who are all of you?" Gilgamesh asked, placing a hand on Ki's shoulder, who raised her staff in preparation.

"We're with you!" Krino shouted.

"Please don't kill us!" Stahn screamed.

"I'm too cute to be burned to death! At least sex me up first!" Sabine shouted, getting odd looks from everyone. "...What? Can't I at least have a last request?"

"Gil...that's Krino." Ki whispered. "I think they're really on our side."

"I see. Though the girl in purple disturbs me a bit." He nodded.

"Actually, I think that's a boy."

"Excuse me! But can we get on with the show?" Joker asked. With one more annoying laugh, he pointed at the small group at the bottom of the cliff. "Deal with them, please! I want this man in the cheap gold armor!"

"Hey! There is nothing cheap about this!" Gilgamesh shouted. "It cost me more than you can dream of, you ugly little gnome!"

"GRAH! I AM NOT A GNOME!"

"Oh, you so are!"

"Gil...those people are being attacked." Ki pointed out. Looking down, he sweat dropped heavily at the sight of the blue knights surrounding them. Shaking his head, he charged into the crowd, leaping in and swinging his sword. Ki only watched from outside the pile as he swung, only to watch him sink under all the knights.

With a sigh, she pointed her wand. In an instant, everything was consumed in a tornado of fire. Ceasing after a few seconds, a charred Stahn, Rutee, Krino, and Sabine all coughed a cloud of ash. However, Guntz kicked his cycle to life. Klonoa hopping on, the two shot up the cliff, nearly flying at Joker.

"_I'VE GOT YOU!"_ Klonoa shouted. Leaping, he swung his sword ring, nearly missing the small ball creature, which rolled down the cliff away from them. Retreating best he could, Joker continued to roll...only to connect with a pair of golden greaves. "...Poo."

"Got you." Gilgamesh grinned. But Joker quickly grinned as well.

"No-hohohohoho. "Golden Knight" though you may be, in the end, you're nothing more than a figment of the past..." Joker laughed. "Merely standing on name alone, how quaint."

"What! I aughta—"

"What could you possibly know about someone like Gil?" Ki asked, offended as much as her companion was.

Gilgamesh drew his sword. "It hold true here, then. Never get taken in by a clown with a quick tongue, especially if it's his job." He grinned, raising it high and laughed. "Now, squeal for me piggy!"

"Oh dear-"

The following segment has been edited for extreme violence. We will instead show you a scene 'the panda brig-" Oh, it appears to be over! Lets watch.

"GAH! IT HURTS! MY ARM! WHERE IS MY ARM!"

Whoa, our bad! We read the signs wrong. That was bad. Questionably bad. I mixed up salt with cleaning solution and my meal didn't turn out _that_ bad. Oh. Okay, there's the sign again. If it's wrong, _someone_ will be hearing from Ms Keiri and Mr. Neo, our PR people.

Gilgamesh breathed in heaving, heavy breaths, standing over an equally tired Joker. In one action, judging by the bar over Joker's head, Gil managed to reduce the creature's health rating to 51. Unable to move, the both of them insulted each other, glaring the whole while.

That is, until Guntz's tumbling hover bike crushed him, followed by a falling Guntz and Klonoa.

"Oww..." He gasped. "Oh...oh my. This is a poor predicament." Sighing from underneath the bike, he began to cry. "And on top of that, the Golden Knight made a comeback. Druaga is going to kill me..."

"You talk rather big for someone who cries easily." Sabine said, poking the clown with a twig.

"...I think I should go, ladies and gentlemen. Adio—"

"Could you pass a message for me, first?" Gilgamesh asked, planting his sword into the ground next to Joker's head. "Of course you will. Tell him to wait."

"..." Joker blinked. What kind of message was that? And he was letting him go? "V-very well. It looks like we'll meet again soon."

"Who'd want to meet someone like you?" Klonoa growled.

"I'll ignore that. In the mean time...ADiOs!" With that, Gilgamesh allowed the creature to leave, sheathing his now filthy sword.

"...You let him go." Stahn said.

"Yes, I did."

"You let him go!" Shouted Klonoa.

"Yes, I did."

"GIL! YOU LET HIM GO!" Ki shouted, slapping him with her wand. "YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST QUESTIONED HIM!"

"I'm sorry?" Gilgamesh asked more than said. "Still, that should be the last of the monster mop up." Turning to Krino, he smiled. "Hero Krino, thank you—"

"I am no longer a Hero, Sir Gilgamesh." Krino cut him off. "For now, I only work to assist Lady Valkyrie. Come, Sabine."

"Um, yes Krino." The purple-garbed child nodded, following the frogman as he went.

"Wait! Hey, Krino!" Ki started to shout, but realized the man would not listen. "That's one less ally, then..." The others agreed, watching him walk but not wanting to stop him.

"...So, uh, Gilgamesh." Stahn grinned. "My name is-"

"Please, call me Gil, Stahn Aileron."

"Oh, alright." Stahn said. Then, "Wait, how'd you know my name?"

"He contacted us earlier," Rutee explained. "This is about the 'Eye of Atamoni', isn't it?" She asked.

"Yeah. Bad news, I'm afraid." Gil nodded.

"Gil, uh," Ki said as he began to explain. "While you're explaining that, I'll head to the Great Shrine. Is that okay?"

"Yes. Be careful," Gilgamesh nodded. Then, turning to the pair, he sighed. "Well, this fancy super-duper eye is surrounded in bad news, actually. You see, it has recently..."

"Psst. Klonoa," Guntz elbowed the critter. ", We've gotten ourselves right smack dab in the middle of something huge. I bet there won't be any reward money involved either." He muttered. "Quite the predicament...and we still haven't talked to him ourselves..."

"Well, no money is okay as long as we get the other knights on our side, right?" Klonoa asked. "We have the Golden Knight. We just need to find the Maiden Knight and the Silver Knight."

"No problem there. There's trackers on them too." Guntz said. Bringing up his tracking device, he clicked it once to find the tracker on Valkyrie, the maiden knight that Krino was also searching for. Blinking, he checked again. "No way..."

"Something wrong?" Klonoa asked.

"I can't find her tracker. Its like she's not in this world!" Guntz said a bit unnerved. Thinking there may have been an error with the tracker, he clicked again to find the silver knight. Just like the maiden knight, there was no signal. "...Something weird is going on..."

"Still..." Klonoa looked up at him. "This is rather interesting, eh Guntz? Following the legendary knights might be just the entertainment we need!" He grinned. "Let's start an adventure together! Wahoo!"


End file.
